i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize