My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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