in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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