its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize