Banned from zoo.
Again?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
