sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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