i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
