I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
