He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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