That's intense
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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