I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
try to milk me bitch
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