Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
