He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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