Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
