Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Randomize
