Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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