Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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