I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize