i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
