he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
