And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
