Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
