Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
