You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
