do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
