Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
