I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
