BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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