i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
