Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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