tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize