i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
