yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
