i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
