If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
