Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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