It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
