i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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