Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How naked do you want me to be?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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