youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
