I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
