He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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