I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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