i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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