New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
