He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
