I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
