i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
