Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I can text with my tongue
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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