i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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