Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
