he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
