Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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