Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
