I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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