can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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