I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just had sex bonerless
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
