the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
