I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
