Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
