Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
