I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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