Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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(217): View more from Illinois

haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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(859): View more from Kentucky

You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months

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