Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
