I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
