perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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