I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I met the friendliest cop last night
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
