she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
