We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
