it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
