The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
