I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
