We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We are all done wearing pants today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
