I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
