News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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